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Needing to be in the same reality is what prevents us from being in the same reality.

Needing to have the same point of view is what prevents us from truly seeing the point of any view.

Needing to be in harmony to be able to connect is what prevents us from creating harmony through connection.

Needing to find a solution to meet our own needs is what prevents us from finding the solution we need.


When our realities are allowed to co-exist we can start to find common ground.

As long as we are fighting or ignoring the fact that the other has a different experience than us, our experiences cannot co-exist and hence we cannot really co-exist either.

When we let both our realities be seen and heard we don’t have to fight to have our reality be acknowledged anymore.

Instead we can start to broaden our perspective into a reality where both our experiences create a fuller picture together


When we can see that both of our view points are valid we can start to see the full picture.

When we focus on convincing the other of our point of view instead of really listening to theirs, we prevent their perspective from shining the light on the things we cannot see from ours.

Once we can look at the situation from both view points we can see ourself and the other in it, both contributing to it with out part.


When we can connect in and through what causes disharmony we can find our way to harmony.

If we assume that the only way back into connection is to find harmony first, we cannot meet in the disharmony that is.

Meeting in disharmony actually strengthens the relationship and the trust between us, making us more resilient to meet any future challenges.

Once we can support each other to meet in the discomfort it can start to dissolve into comfort, this is how we create harmony together.


When we can let a solution emerge from the tension point between our opposing needs it will meet more than just our individual needs.

Focusing on finding a solution to meet our own needs before we have come back into connection will only enforce the disconnection between us.

If we cannot even acknowledge the we can have different needs within our relationship, we cannot find a solution for them both.

It is first when we can be together in the tension of not knowing, that a solution can be born where our needs can co-exist.


Are you curious to learn more about how this can be lived and embodied in relationships?

Come join our INITIATION into evolutionary relating 23-29 of May at Nikkilä Temple in Finland with your partner.

The super early bird is valid until the end of February, so don’t wait too long! Read more


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