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Creating space between stimulus and response

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
/ Viktor E. Frankl

I love this quote, cause it speaks so much to the work that I do: helping clients and participants to create more space within themselves.


It is amazing to witness how, once there is more space around their instinctual responses, that enables them to take aligned action and not just go on autopilot and recreate old patterns.


I would add, however, that this is not something you can just decide you want and then you magically have it.


No, you'd need to very intentionally create spaciousness within your nervous system to be able to hold the tension between stimulus and response.

This is only possible through slowing down enough to find that small opening and then regulate your nervous system, until the small opening widens into enough space for a new choice to be made.


This is why the first thing that we do in our relational laboratories is slooooooooow everything down.


* This is where we can bring in the missing awareness to the subconscious patterns that run our lives.


* This is where we can regulate our nervous system to create enough of an inner sense of safety to stay connected to ourselves while meeting another.


* This is where we can start to take new steps towards how we actually want to relate, show up and connect to others.


* This is where we shift our patterns into new intentional experiences.


There’s still some spaces left in our beautiful venue in Malmö this coming weekend and we would love to have you there.


You choose the price that meets you where you’re at. Read more under upcoming events at my website.


Let´s slow down together and widen the space between stimulus and response until it expands into new possibilities, that will ripple out into all areas of you life.


Photo: Zi Ta / Zita M. Photography


 
 
 

We need each other to heal what was hurt by another.

Relational trauma and dysfunctional relational patterns can only be fully healing in relationship.


This is what I create spaces for in my workshops.


“You can’t solve trauma from inside the trauma - it is found outside of the trauma by experiencing new behaviors, new movements and new sensations.”
/ Peter Levine

Last weekend I held a mini version of the relational laboratory at a festival and was amazed by the depth we could reach together in a couple of hours.


Together we met at the edge between old and new, familiar and unfamiliar, known and unknown.


Then we intentionally created new experiences for each other, that met that edge and the desire to take a step towards something new.


Daring to speak up, setting a boundary or just being seen and heard. Receiving a longing, being held and encouraged in loving presence.


All of these missing relational experiences were all of a sudden available in our field of mutual support and service.


Deeply touched I witnessed how new possibilities opened up where there had been hopelessness, trust awakened where there had been mistrust and hope entered the room.


So much hope.


If this is possible for strangers that come together for a couple of hours within a couple of days, imagine what else is possible…


Or just come and find out at one of my upcoming offerings!


11/9 TRYGGHETENS GROGRUND - fördjupningskurs i autentiskt relaterande, nervsystemsförståelse & läkning


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- a brave space to shift your relational patterns into new experiences, that I hold together with my beloved from evolutionary integrity


17-19/11 EVOLUTIONARY RELATIONSHIP COACHING TRAINING - Trauma informed and needs oriented couples counseling with Rouven Schneider


I look forward to seeing you there ✨


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A space for transformation

Here are some glimpses into our relational laboratory, where deep relational transformation takes place:


Brave beings coming together in the shared longing for new experiences, where I get to be me and you get to be you so that we can be we.


One after one taking first steps on shaky legs towards the unknown, each step taken encouraging another to take theirs.


Tall beings reaching for the sky leaning into each other, finding support to ground what had been uprooted in the storm.


Voices finally expressing what they had been suppressing only to discover the treasures we uncover when being heard.


Bodies moving towards each other once they’re reminded of their somatic strength to leave or to defend, the inner sense of safety becoming the key to open closed doors.


My story becoming your story becoming our story to rewrite with this new vocabulary and widened spectrum of possibilities.


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You are so welcome to join us on our relational laboratory tour:

Stockholm 24-26/3 (in Swedish)

Helsinki 21-23/4

Malmö 5-7/5

Göteborg 2-4/6 (in Swedish)


Find all the events on website.


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© 2021 Ida Helmers

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