I am still landing after a beautiful weekend at a festival, where I had the pleasure of guiding an embodiment with all participants during the opening ceremony.
The workshop was called somatic consent, but all that we really did was slowing down to be able to show up.
I want to tell you what I mean with that and why it is important, as this is something I start all of my workshops with.
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When I got handed the microphone I could feel all the excitement, shyness, nervousness, fear and awkwardness in the room within my own body as a massive charge.
All 200 nervous systems in the room were reacting in their own individual way to the challenge of being in a room with a bunch of new people.
No-one really knowing what would happen next, many probably already starting up their own well known strategies and patterns to cope. So was I.
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Before we started I had already observed myself going into my own familiar pattern of becoming the grey mouse in a corner, to not take up too much space so that no-one would notice me.
Another strategy kicked in of controlling the situation by making a plan for any possible outcome, my thoughts speeding up by the minute and my movements becoming restless.
My nervous system was trying to create safety in a new situation that felt a bit unsafe to me, because it was unknown.
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The first thing I did was to slow myself down, through my breath and my movements.
Then I invited the whole room to join me there, moving in slow motion to feel every sensation.
Pausing to catch up with all that was moving inside and welcoming it with deep breaths.
Truly arriving in the space as our nervous systems started to feel more safe and our bodies unwinding built up tension.
Then gently moving into meeting and connecting with each other, with the invitation to pause and reconnect inwards in between.
So that we could show up in each meeting from a place of connectedness with self.
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The thing is: wether we feel excited or scared in a new situation, it is still a new situation.
Meaning our nervous systems do not have a reference point as to how safe the situation is and will stay alert, ready to react.
Meaning our coping strategies and relational patterns kick in to handle the unknown.
Meaning we are not really connected with ourselves in the moment we meet each other.
Meaning we cannot truly feel our boundaries, our YES or our NO.
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Thats why I called the workshop "Somatic consent".
Because we cannot start to talk about consent before we are connected with our bodies.
Because we cannot give consent when our nervous system is dysregulated.
Because we need to slow down to catch up with ourselves to be able to be present.
Because we can only show up for each other when we first show up for ourself.
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This is the core principle of all the work that I do and especially the relational laboratory that I co-created together with Rouven.
Here we have a whole weekend to create new relational experiences through shifting our patterns and strategies.
If you want to practice slowing down to show up you are so welcome to join the relational laboratory tour in:
Copenhagen 10-12/3
Stockholm (in Swedish) 24-26/3
Helsinki 21-23/4
Malmö 5-7/5
Göteborg (in Swedish) 2-4/6
You find all upcoming events on my website.
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