I wrote a poem about this longing a while back that sparked a lot of resonance and curiosity from some of you, so I thought I would share more about where it came from while also inviting you to a new workshop that was birthed from it.
Here we go...
Most of us long to meet more authentically, to be met in our true expression and welcome others in theirs - yet we all seem to struggle with it.
Here is my take on why:
As children most of us experienced that some of our expression was not welcomed, often times our anger and our NO was shamed, silenced or punished. So to not upset our caregivers and main source of survival we would suppress our true needs and expression and do what we tough they preferred.
As adults it is then really hard to access something we've suppressed for so long, meaning it is difficult or almost impossible for us to actually feel our true NO & YES.
Especially in relational situations, where our nervous system associates expressing our needs, boundaries & desires with possible danger since the shaming, silencing or punishment from our childhood live as trauma in our nervous system.
This leads to us actually not being able to be fully authentic with one another, since our nervous system is doing everything it can to prevent us from expressing our truth.
At the same time most of us really long to meet more authentically, to be able to fully be ourselves with others and feel them in their true authentic expression as well.
I don't know about you, but I can really feel this deep frustration to not be fully met by the people I am relating to.
When I feel that they're holding back, not saying what they really want or need and doing what they think I want instead of feeling into what we need to be able to really meet...it makes me incredibly frustrated.
This frustration does not really get me anywhere though, if I cannot myself be the invitation to meet in authenticity and embody what it is I long for by fully showing up and speaking my truth.
Fact is, we cannot really meet if we are not true to ourselves when we meet - when I am not fully here in connection to myself and my NO / YES, I cannot fully met you.
This poem is my invitation and it comes from my deep longing to feel YOU, to feel your NO so I can fully trust you when you say YES.
To feel YOU in your doubt, in your not knowing and confusion so that I can fully trust you when you found your clarity in what you want.
To feel YOU in your fear of loosing yourself in relation to me, or loosing me if you express what you really need so that I can truly trust you when you say you love me.
To feel YOU in your need for space, so that I can truly trust you when you want to be close.
To feel YOU in all of your vast expression of humanness, so that I can meet you with mine.
Do you feel it too, this longing to truly meet in authenticity and find our belonging there together?
Come join us for a full day of gentle embodied exploration of our boundaries and how we can create a sense of safety from within, so that our nervous system can start to feel safe enough to actually be authentic