On this journey of self-development and healing that many of us are on, it is easy to fall into the trap of focusing only on the problem.
- the strategies of avoidance, dissociation or over working that bring me out of the present moment.
- the unpleasant states of stress, depression or anxiety that I want to experience less of.
- the unhealthy relationship pattern of people pleasing, weak boundaries or I want to shift out of.
and so on.
We are at war with the problem and want to change it at any cost, which creates a felt sense of resistance in our bodies and feeds our self-hate and shame.
On a neurobiological level this actually reinforces what we want to get rid of, through strengthening the neuro pathways connected to the strategy, state or pattern.
With that we also keep identifying with what we've experienced, felt and related with so far and add to the evidence that this is all we can experience, feel and be.
"This is just who I am".
Neuro pathways are the connections our brain and nervous system make between cause and effect: "When I do this - that always happens".
The more often this connection between a certain cause and effect has been made, the stronger the neuro pathway gets.
The strongest ones that we have used most of our lives are like highways by now, meaning the connection goes fast and instant without question.
So how do we change a heavily trafficed high way? Certainly not by trying to stop it.
What we can do is to introduce new pathways, where the traffic can be redirected to more and more over time.
How do we do this? By shifting our focus from the problem to the solution and reinforce the neuro pathways that we want to get stronger.
How do I want to feel?
What state do I want to be more in?
What do I wish to experience more of in my life?
Then the most important part of all: When did I last feel, experience or show up in that way?
Now bring that into your body: Where do I feel it? Does it have a gesture? Can I express it through a dance?
This is reinforcing the neuro pathways of what you want and opening your nervous system to recognise, receive and choose more of that.
Through reinforcing the neuro pathways connected to what you want, you are strengthening the possibilities of having more of it in your life.
Do you want me to share more practical tools and somatic perspective like this?
Please share in the comments what inspired you about this post or maybe even answer the questions in it to let yourself be witnessed and inspire others to do the same.